2012
Official Judge, 2012 Erma Bombeck International Writing Competition
Tough Cookies
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
My daughter Cindy recently joined the Girl Scouts, so we’re selling cookies.
Indirect Deposit
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
My teller, a slim young woman with glistening eyes and sandy hair, chatted with me in a way that was easily and willingly misinterpreted.
2010
Third Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2010 Column-Writing Competition
First Place, 2010 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, Humor Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
Second Place, 2010 ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year Awards", Humor Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
Finalist, 2010 ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year Awards", Essays Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
What Moms Already Know About Super Bowl Lingo
Fifth Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Strong Safety: The moment at which a parent says "Hold my hand! We're in a parking lot!"...
Giving My Kids a Tune-Up
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
some unwritten law says my children had to be protected from toxic influences like the wail of an electric guitar, a mumbled verse, or a rap about anything other than
food groups and proper hygiene...
When Rock Bands and Kid Shows Collide
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I'm wondering what other well-known musical acts might see the kids' space as a way to expand their fan base...
Official Judge, 2010 Erma Bombeck International Writing Competition
2009
Second Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2009 Column-Writing Competition
Honorable Mention, National Society of Newspaper Columnists' 2009 Blog Competition
Offspring Of The Marvel/Disney Marriage
First Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
While they’re busy figuring out how to tell The Hulk he now reports to Mickey Mouse, I’m suggesting some new movies that leverage the best of both brands...
What Will Kid Movies Be Based On Next?
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
What's left to be scraped at the bottom of the kids media barrel?
Book Ideas Scrapped in 2009
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
While reports of the Spears book's postponement got plenty of media coverage, other scrapped book ideas went unnoticed...
What's in a Nonsense Name?
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
The trend in giving your company a nonsense name reached a new high when Sci Fi channel announced it was changing its name to "Syfy."...
2008
Finalist,"Best Commentary," Online News Association Awards
Second Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2008 Column-Writing Competition
New U.S. Citizenship Test: The Version You Didn't See
1st Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
This month, a new U.S. Citizenship test goes into effect. Given the general level of civic education in the U.S., it's surprising the project hasn't been outsourced to India...
Fee-quent Flying
2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
In June, American Airlines began charging passengers $15 for the first checked bag on domestic flights.
The Secret Truth Behind Diners
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Just like everyone in the Northeast has a favorite road rage swear word, so too does every man, woman, and child in the urban Northeast have a favorite diner...
How to Quit Your Job
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I've resigned from eight jobs over the past 18 years, and have handled the "giving notice" moments with everything from heartfelt empathy to sadistic glee.
What Reality Television Can Do For The Olympics
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Reality television show producers, proudly noting they invented the concept of obscure Americans competing in tight, skimpy outfits for glory and lucrative contracts
way before the Olympics came around to it...
What's Not to Like About Those Post-Debate Focus Groups
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Perhaps the most frustrating staple of post-debate network news coverage is that all-too-familiar battleground state focus group...
2007
Named Humor Writer of the Month, Erma Bombeck Writing Institute, University of Dayton
'Price is Right' Audition Notes
4th Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Now that Drew Carey has been named to replace Bob Barker on "The Price is Right," producers have recently released their audition remarks...
Citizen Came
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Responding to charges it was out of touch with real life...
Voter Tune-Out
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Election officials have unveiled a new proposal for ensuring fair U.S. voting protocols in 2008...
2006
Thanks and Misgivings
2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I'm looking at a photo of my self topless...
First Day Jitters for the Kid in Dad
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life
Homework Bound
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Last week, my 6 year-old son's Thanksgiving-themed homework assignment was to tell a personal story...
Don't Bank On It
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Few American institutions have changed as little over time as the local bank...
It's Valen-Time
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
For my sister-in-law Jessica, February 14 is not only Valentine's Day, but also her birthday...
My Oscar-Worthy Experience
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Fifteen years ago, I was an unemployed 22 year-old living in a friend's studio apartment...
The Age of Obsolescence
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
You know it's time to update your home technology when your six-year-old complains...
When the Mice Are Away...
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
This week, my family made the six-hour trek to my ex wife's parents' house in Martha's Vineyard...
In the Cards
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
June and July are big celebration months for me...
Pimp My Bag
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
It's probably safe to say women are more obsessed with their personal bags than men are...
Potty Train
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
...you've probably noticed the foul odor hitting you like a slimy smack in the nose at the far end of the tracks...
Beauty on the Beast
Semi-Finalist,HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I've always been the kind of person who believed that shampoo and conditioner could coexist in the same bottle...
Official Judge, 2012 Erma Bombeck International Writing Competition
Tough Cookies
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
My daughter Cindy recently joined the Girl Scouts, so we’re selling cookies.
Indirect Deposit
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
My teller, a slim young woman with glistening eyes and sandy hair, chatted with me in a way that was easily and willingly misinterpreted.
2010
Third Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2010 Column-Writing Competition
First Place, 2010 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, Humor Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
Second Place, 2010 ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year Awards", Humor Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
Finalist, 2010 ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year Awards", Essays Category
"The 40-Year-Old Version"
What Moms Already Know About Super Bowl Lingo
Fifth Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Strong Safety: The moment at which a parent says "Hold my hand! We're in a parking lot!"...
Giving My Kids a Tune-Up
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
some unwritten law says my children had to be protected from toxic influences like the wail of an electric guitar, a mumbled verse, or a rap about anything other than
food groups and proper hygiene...
When Rock Bands and Kid Shows Collide
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I'm wondering what other well-known musical acts might see the kids' space as a way to expand their fan base...
Official Judge, 2010 Erma Bombeck International Writing Competition
2009
Second Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2009 Column-Writing Competition
Honorable Mention, National Society of Newspaper Columnists' 2009 Blog Competition
Offspring Of The Marvel/Disney Marriage
First Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
While they’re busy figuring out how to tell The Hulk he now reports to Mickey Mouse, I’m suggesting some new movies that leverage the best of both brands...
What Will Kid Movies Be Based On Next?
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
What's left to be scraped at the bottom of the kids media barrel?
Book Ideas Scrapped in 2009
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
While reports of the Spears book's postponement got plenty of media coverage, other scrapped book ideas went unnoticed...
What's in a Nonsense Name?
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
The trend in giving your company a nonsense name reached a new high when Sci Fi channel announced it was changing its name to "Syfy."...
2008
Finalist,"Best Commentary," Online News Association Awards
Second Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists 2008 Column-Writing Competition
New U.S. Citizenship Test: The Version You Didn't See
1st Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
This month, a new U.S. Citizenship test goes into effect. Given the general level of civic education in the U.S., it's surprising the project hasn't been outsourced to India...
Fee-quent Flying
2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
In June, American Airlines began charging passengers $15 for the first checked bag on domestic flights.
The Secret Truth Behind Diners
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Just like everyone in the Northeast has a favorite road rage swear word, so too does every man, woman, and child in the urban Northeast have a favorite diner...
How to Quit Your Job
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I've resigned from eight jobs over the past 18 years, and have handled the "giving notice" moments with everything from heartfelt empathy to sadistic glee.
What Reality Television Can Do For The Olympics
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Reality television show producers, proudly noting they invented the concept of obscure Americans competing in tight, skimpy outfits for glory and lucrative contracts
way before the Olympics came around to it...
What's Not to Like About Those Post-Debate Focus Groups
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Perhaps the most frustrating staple of post-debate network news coverage is that all-too-familiar battleground state focus group...
2007
Named Humor Writer of the Month, Erma Bombeck Writing Institute, University of Dayton
'Price is Right' Audition Notes
4th Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Now that Drew Carey has been named to replace Bob Barker on "The Price is Right," producers have recently released their audition remarks...
Citizen Came
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Responding to charges it was out of touch with real life...
Voter Tune-Out
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Election officials have unveiled a new proposal for ensuring fair U.S. voting protocols in 2008...
2006
Thanks and Misgivings
2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I'm looking at a photo of my self topless...
First Day Jitters for the Kid in Dad
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life
Homework Bound
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Last week, my 6 year-old son's Thanksgiving-themed homework assignment was to tell a personal story...
Don't Bank On It
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Few American institutions have changed as little over time as the local bank...
It's Valen-Time
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
For my sister-in-law Jessica, February 14 is not only Valentine's Day, but also her birthday...
My Oscar-Worthy Experience
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
Fifteen years ago, I was an unemployed 22 year-old living in a friend's studio apartment...
The Age of Obsolescence
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
You know it's time to update your home technology when your six-year-old complains...
When the Mice Are Away...
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
This week, my family made the six-hour trek to my ex wife's parents' house in Martha's Vineyard...
In the Cards
Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
June and July are big celebration months for me...
Pimp My Bag
Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
It's probably safe to say women are more obsessed with their personal bags than men are...
Potty Train
Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
...you've probably noticed the foul odor hitting you like a slimy smack in the nose at the far end of the tracks...
Beauty on the Beast
Semi-Finalist,HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest
I've always been the kind of person who believed that shampoo and conditioner could coexist in the same bottle...
Awards & Distinctions
